REVAMPED WITH BETTERER GRAMMERS AND UPDATES FOR 2025! If Charles Bukowski wrote poetry about the gritty underbelly of barroom brawls and existential hangovers, then “Not Bukowski” is what happens when a stand-up comedian decides to break his best material into line breaks and call it literature—with the honest admission that the results are, well, kind of terrible as actual poetry. This collection transforms comedy club gold into poetic verse, proving that just because something kills on stage doesn’t mean it survives the transition to the written page. It’s essentially a greatest hits album that acknowledges it probably shouldn’t have been recorded in the first place, but here we are anyway, with stanza breaks and forced rhymes that sound way better with a microphone and a two-drink minimum.

The title “Not Bukowski” isn’t just a playful reference—it’s a disclaimer. Beyond the admittedly subpar poetry, the book throws in essays and perhaps the most gloriously absurd content imaginable: actual transcripts of online customer service chats where the author systematically asks all the wrong questions to all the wrong companies. Picture someone messaging LL Bean with an impossibly weird customization request, or engaging Sylvania’s customer service team in a detailed conversation about planting bulbs—you know, the kind that go in the ground, not the ceiling. It’s the literary equivalent of performance art meets deliberate confusion, documenting what happens when someone commits to being spectacularly obtuse in online chat windows. It’s a book for people who appreciate honesty over artistry and find deep entertainment in watching someone weaponize misunderstanding against unsuspecting customer service representatives who are just trying to get through their shift.

Buy it at:

Amazon