The 10-Items-or-Less Apocalypse is what happens when a stand-up comic raids a think tank and leaves behind only cardboard forts, goat landlords, and a gingerbread HOA lawsuit. This collection of essays is a high-speed collision between cultural critique and comedic chaos—where a shopping cart becomes a philosophical monument, a mouse stages a corporate coup, and a man who uses the very wrong but very right hair gel.
Each piece kicks off with a delightfully weird image and spirals into something unexpectedly sharp: a joke that turns into an insight, and an insight that hits like a wrench to the soul. Whether it’s the Beatles brainstorming in a writer’s room or an overpass-dwelling economist explaining late capitalism, the book thrives on rapid pivots, oddball metaphors, and format experiments that somehow make perfect sense.
Smart, silly, and sneakily profound, this is the kind of apocalypse you’ll want to read in one sitting—preferably while standing in the express lane, wondering if that guy really has only ten items.

Advance Praise for The 10-Items-or-Less Apocalypse:
“I entered a gas station bathroom with this book and emerged three hours later a changed man. Also, the raccoons had unionized.”
— Dr. Thaddeus Blorp, Philosopher (self-certified)
“This book made me laugh so hard I forgot to beep items. A man walked out with a ham under each arm. I respect that.”
— Cheryl, Cashier & Reluctant Witness to Late-Stage Capitalism
“I was promised a cookbook. This is not a cookbook. But I did eat part of it and now I understand irony.”
— Günther, Confused Survivalist
“A searing indictment of modern society, wrapped in a tortilla of nonsense, deep-fried in existential dread, and served with a side of goat cheese litigation.”
— Zelda McCracken, Former Attorney for the Gingerbread People
“I read this aloud to my ferrets. They now run a small but thriving Etsy shop.”
— @DumpsterOracle42, Influencer/Shaman
“This book is why I no longer trust shopping carts, metaphors, or Tuesdays.”
— Kevin, Just Kevin