There once was a man named Theodor G.
Who wrote books for you and for me.
He sat at his desk with a frown on his face,
No words would come out, not even a trace!

“I need,” said Theodor, “a story that’s new!
A tale that is fun for me and for you!”
He looked at his hat on the hook by the door—
A red and white hat… but what was that roar?

He put on the hat and it started to grin!
The hat grew teeth and a smile worn thin!
“Oh my!” said Theodor, “This hat’s gone quite mad!”
And out popped a cat who looked terribly glad!

“We’re all mad here!” said the cat with delight, His grin floating free in the broad daylight. “I’m Cheshire, you see, with ideas so bright! Let me suggest some stories to write!”

“How about,” said the cat, “Green Eggs and Spam?
About a fellow who won’t eat canned ham!
Or maybe ‘The Cat in the Vat’—that’s me!
Stuck in a pickle jar, not wild and free!”

“No, no!” said Theodor, “Those ideas are bad!”
“Then how about,” grinned the cat, “The Sneetches Who Had
Big purple mustaches upon their left knee,
And fought about who had the tastiest tea!”

The cat disappeared—all except for his smile,
Which thought up bad stories for quite a long while.
“I’ve got it!” said the grin, “How ’bout ‘Horton Hears a Sneeze’?
An elephant catching a terrible Covid wheeze!”

“Or ‘One Fish, Two Fish, Dead Fish, Stew Fish’!
A cookbook for making your most nasty dish!
Or ‘The Grinch Who Stole Socks’—much less exciting,
He just steals footwear while no one’s moonlighting!”

“Stop!” cried Theodor, “These stories are dreadful!”
“Exactly!” said Cheshire, “Delightfully dreadful!
How about ‘Fox in Crocs’—he’s wearing those shoes,
Or ‘There’s a Wocket in my Pocket’—but it’s fueled by booze!”

The cat reappeared with a mischievous gleam,
“I’ve got the worst story you’ve ever seen!
‘The Cat in the Hat Who Forgot How to Rhyme’—
He speaks only in prose all the terrible time!”

“Or better yet,” grinned the cat, growing wide, “
‘Yertle the Turtle Who Got Stuck Inside’—
Inside a small box, unable to rule,
Just trapped there forever looking quite… fool!”

“What about ‘Oh, the Places You’ll Go… To the Bathroom’?
A travel guide for every family washroom!
Or ‘The Lorax Who Spoke for the Fleas’—
Tiny insects living in tiny trees!”

“ENOUGH!” shouted Theodor, “These stories are mad!”
“Mad in the best way!” the cat said, quite glad.
“For sometimes the silliest, most terrible tale
Is exactly the thing that will never grow stale!”

“But nobody wants to read stories so weird!”
“Ah,” said the cat as his body disappeared,
“That’s where you’re wrong, my dear friend Theodor,
Children love stories that make grown-ups… abhor!”

And that is how Theodor learned with dismay,
That terrible stories might just save the day.
Though he never did write what the cat had suggested,
Those awful ideas left him feeling… quite rested!

“Remember,” grinned Cheshire, now fading from sight,
“The worst ideas often turn out just right!”
And his grin lingered on with that terrible advice,
Making Theodor wonder… should he think twice?