Dear Diary,

It’s the middle of the night.

I’m awake but my wife isn’t.

Both reasons involve pee.

She needs ambient sound to fall asleep. Her choice tonight is an app that plays the sound of rain.

It was a free app.

So it sounds like four people peeing on dried leaves.

It works for her so she won’t believe me.

I am going to get dried leaves in the morning.

Do you know four people who would pee on them?

Until tomorrow,