Dear Diary:

Had a colonoscopy last week… of that age, of course.

Fasting and ummm…fluidation were first. Soon I was empty. I wasn’t miserable in any way at all but I couldn’t play “Candy Crush” because it made me hungry. Every move I would go:

“Yeah, I’d eat that!”

The Colonoscopy itself went well.

I was voted “Most Pleasant Ass of the Day.”

Autumnal themed Pumpkin Spice Colonoscopy was a nice touch.

I realized that the Colonoscopy Waiting Room is a great statement about how people can get along. You have folks from all races, creeds, genders, and sizes united for a single purpose. Everyone shares the same fears and potential triumphs.

It’s also a great place to waste away the time by playing a game I like to call “Would I probe that ass?”

(I apologize to the guy who I accidentally buzzed out loud. I was hungry and dehydrated.)



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