Okay. We already know that I have weird thoughts.

The other day I was sitting in a hotel room bathroom, when I noticed that the toilet paper brand was “Angel Soft.”

Why? Are angels actually soft? Even that bony one over there from the anorexia wing of the gang?

Yeah, I said “wing.” Not just for the pun-of-it, but because I know for a fact that feathers are ouchy. Feathers make quill pens. You can poke out someone’s eye with a quill pen. I am sure George Washington or Shakespeare did it.

Also, where did they hold product testing? I would love to have tried to wipe my ass with an angel. I am a devil that way.

Oh! I just punned again.

You know who wouldn’t laugh at that?

A clam.

Clams never laugh nor do they ever smile. So why do we say that someone is as “Happy as a clam.”?

Whats to be happy about if you are a clam? People suck out your innards. Your shell cracks. And sometimes a big fatso on the beacj steps on you.

The world is all lies.