Dear Covid Diary,
Car broke down…well, not broke down…battery just decided it needed some time off.
I know. Big deal. Shit like that happens to everyone.
But before you go back to not paying attention, there was irony involved.
Actual irony…not the “rain of your wedding day” faux irony…
No. My battery went dead at a gas station, right at the pumps…after pumping gas. Still not ironic…but here it comes…
The station had no jumper cables. None. Zip. Zero.
Ironic one might say.
And neither did any other person there who came to get gas etc.
Well, except for this one guy. He came into the gas station, backed to the pump…and slowly got out…walking with a limp. I asked him if he could give me a jump. He replied that he could but first he had to fill his care as it was on fumes.
He limped slowly to the cashier to prepay….and minutes…many minutes later, limped back eating a toaster pastry.
He started to pump the gas.
As he finished, I got out of my car and popped the hood.
He looked at me, jumped in his car, and squealed out of the station lot and away.
Must have been something in that pop tart.
Me so freaky,
Brian
See my Amazon author page and buy my books.
His first manuscript was composed entirely of punctuation marks and confused sketches. He's since published "Not Bukowski" (poems that don't rhyme) and "Slop and Swell from a Festering Mind" (essays so concerning that bookstores check on his wellbeing). He once spent three hours photographing a rare bird that turned out to be a plastic bag, and he's the only person banned from church bake sales for "weaponized brownies." Inheriting absurdism from Vonnegut and Adams, sprawling narratives from Irving, and weaponized failure from Moore, he writes about conflicted everymen struggling through supernatural chaos.
He has two new, offbeat novels waiting foran agent or a publisher: "Truth Tastes Like Pennies" and "Elliot Nessie."
He remains unconvinced that birds aren't surveillance drones.
More biographic lies...err...info.
- Packing for Marrakech, Distracted by Fried Chicken Fashion - April 20, 2026
- I Am Not a Carwash Guy Either - April 17, 2026
- Scientists Confirm Sperm Whales Have Language. Gary is pleased. - April 16, 2026
