Dear Covid Diary,
I showed up at my Birthday Party the other day wearing plaid shorts, a Hawaiian Shirt, ear muffs, mis-matched socks, and Crocs.
Everyone went “What’s up with this outfit??”
And I said “Since I got The Covid, I have lost my sense of taste.”
Ouch,
Brian
Brian Gerard (Lewandowski) writes books critics call "aggressively adequate" — better than "aggressively terrible" but somehow more concerning, like a smoke detector that only goes off on Tuesdays.
He once traded a MetroCard for a pitchfork on a subway platform and now uses it exclusively for dramatic pointing. He lives on a farm outside Charlottesville, Virginia with a partner who smiles politely at his life choices, a pig named Trouble McFussbucket who has opinions about the sofa, and a five-pound dog named Professor Archibald Pickles who appears to be held together entirely by anxiety and unearned confidence.
See his Amazon author page and buy his books before he spends the royalties on the pig.
Inheriting absurdism from Vonnegut and Adams and weaponized failure from Moore, he writes about conflicted everymen stumbling through supernatural chaos. He has published "Not Bukowski" and "Slop and Swill from a Festering Mind," and has two new novels seeking a publisher: "Truth Tastes Like Pennies" (available to paid Substack subscribers June 1) and "Elliot Nessie."
He remains unconvinced that birds aren't surveillance drones.
More biographical lies...err...info.
He once traded a MetroCard for a pitchfork on a subway platform and now uses it exclusively for dramatic pointing. He lives on a farm outside Charlottesville, Virginia with a partner who smiles politely at his life choices, a pig named Trouble McFussbucket who has opinions about the sofa, and a five-pound dog named Professor Archibald Pickles who appears to be held together entirely by anxiety and unearned confidence.
See his Amazon author page and buy his books before he spends the royalties on the pig.
Inheriting absurdism from Vonnegut and Adams and weaponized failure from Moore, he writes about conflicted everymen stumbling through supernatural chaos. He has published "Not Bukowski" and "Slop and Swill from a Festering Mind," and has two new novels seeking a publisher: "Truth Tastes Like Pennies" (available to paid Substack subscribers June 1) and "Elliot Nessie."
He remains unconvinced that birds aren't surveillance drones.
More biographical lies...err...info.
Latest posts by Brian Gerard (Lewandowski) (see all)
- Never Worry About Real Estate Taxes Again - May 13, 2026
- Dear Brian: A Rejection Anthology - May 12, 2026
- KUMQUAT: A Sleep Study - May 8, 2026
