The King Is Leaving Now. The Deer Is Not Doing Well.
A Weekend in Two Acts, Neither of Them Good
April 15, 2026
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absurdist humor
A History of Saying Nothing Loudly
Presidential campaign slogans have always been lies you can fit on a hat.
March 2, 2026
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February 27, 2026
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Nobody Listens to Janitors
A janitor notices conscious otters. The DOD’s been watching. Three people break in, get arrested immediately, and what’s in the basement is worse. Way worse.
February 25, 2026
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Can You Speak Shortly? A Love Story Nobody Asked For
I replied to a spam text with a joke. The scammer replied back. What followed was the most meaningful relationship I’ve ever had with someone committing wire fraud.
February 17, 2026
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Living My Truth: A Practical Guide to Following Bohemian Rhapsody’s Life Advice
One man attempts to structure his entire existence around the narrative guidance of Queen’s most famous six-minute opera.
January 22, 2026
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The Arm Thing
A drum circle leads to an elaborate theory about why we all need detachable arms for better sleep.
January 7, 2026
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The 3:30 AM Marriage Chronicles: A Treatise on Insomnia, Pig Rescue, and the Criminally Underappreciated Initials of Brian Austin Green
A Study in Married Life.
December 19, 2025
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