Dear Covid Diary:
Man, do I hate Sri Lankans!
Well, at least in my dreams. Does that still make me Xenophobic? It was in a dream.
Last night, I dreamt that I was going to work on my part of a community garden. When I got there I noticed all my tomato support sticks were missing, yet all the nearby gardens suddenly had them.
I began to loudly ask anyone who might know where my sticks were to please, kindly return them.
People were aghast and one set of gardeners stormed off.
Finally, gardeners from behind me brought over my sticks and threw them on the ground and walked away.
The other folks said “Don’t worry. They’re Sri Lankans. They don’t even speak English.”
“Ahh” I chuckled. “They are probably saying mean things about my white eggplants and we don’t even know.”
I know. I know. My dream wasn’t very woke. When I awoke, I pondered it’s wokeness but felt I couldn’t blame my dream. It was raised that way.
Besides, I have to find those Ukrainians who stormed off after being falsely accused. I bet Hunter Biden knows where they are.
Sleepily on edge,
Brian
See my Amazon author page and buy my books.
His first manuscript was composed entirely of punctuation marks and confused sketches. He's since published "Not Bukowski" (poems that don't rhyme) and "Slop and Swell from a Festering Mind" (essays so concerning that bookstores check on his well-being). He once spent three hours photographing a rare bird that turned out to be a plastic bag, and he's the only person banned from church bake sales for "weaponized brownies." Inheriting absurdism from Vonnegut and Adams, sprawling narratives from Irving, and weaponized failure from Moore, he writes about conflicted everymen struggling through supernatural chaos.
He has two new, offbeat novels waiting for an agent or a publisher: "Truth Tastes Like Pennies" and "Elliot Nessie."
He remains unconvinced that birds aren't surveillance drones.
More biographic lies...err...info.
- Marrakech v. America - May 5, 2026
- They Parachuted the Beaver - May 5, 2026
- Red Eye Has Nothing to Fear - May 2, 2026
