Marrakech v. America
An Unsolicited Comparative Review From A Man Who Left Craving Bacon
May 5, 2026
No Comments
Brian Gerard (Lewandowski)
May 2, 2026
No Comments
To Poop! To Poop! Marrakech!
Dispatches from a Man Who Has Made His Peace with Public Restrooms
April 24, 2026
No Comments
A Field Guide To The Facebook Commenter
A man appeared in my comments and explained redistricting to me. I thank him.
April 23, 2026
No Comments
Packing for Marrakech, Distracted by Fried Chicken Fashion
And The Colonel is screaming loudly.
April 20, 2026
No Comments
I Am Not a Carwash Guy Either
How routine trips to the carwash end up with jumper cables clipped to nipples and vacuums eating shirts.
April 17, 2026
No Comments
Scientists Confirm Sperm Whales Have Language. Gary is pleased.
Whales may have structured communication, at least one unresolved grievance.
April 16, 2026
No Comments
The King Is Leaving Now. The Deer Is Not Doing Well.
A Weekend in Two Acts, Neither of Them Good
April 15, 2026
No Comments
The Nobody Gets Away Café
Three creatures ran when they should have stayed put. One of them had a foundation.
April 13, 2026
No Comments
The Biologically Implausible Breakfast
Reading about CRISPR toast and nasal larvae before 8 a.m. causes eating cold pudding in the dark.
April 11, 2026
No Comments
Side Effects Might Include…
The brain, it turns out, has a suggestion box. And it is completely out of control.
April 9, 2026
No Comments
April 8, 2026
No Comments
A Field Guide to the Family Penis
A tale all about fathers and sons, zoos, wild asses, broken hips, the Buffalo Bills, and the people we love.
April 7, 2026
No Comments
April 6, 2026
No Comments
April 3, 2026
No Comments
One Small Leak for Man
NASA’s Artemis II mission launched on April Fools’ Day and immediately broke its toilet.
April 2, 2026
No Comments
Why You Need to Read My Books, Damnit!
And Why Your Failure to Do So Is Frankly Embarrassing
April 1, 2026
No Comments
My Doctor Renewed Me for Another Year
My yearly physical is a cherished tradition. One of us cherishes it.
March 26, 2026
No Comments
March 25, 2026
No Comments
America Gets Cornholed Again
A quadruple amputee, a professional bean bag league, an Albemarle County emergency room, and the Epstein files nobody is looking at.
March 24, 2026
No Comments
March 22, 2026
No Comments
Five Animals. One Circle. Zero Innocent Faces.
The following events are real. The animals are unavailable for comment.
March 21, 2026
No Comments
My Wife Is a Doctor Now. I Have Some Questions.
A celebration essay about love, stupidity, and a used defibrillator.
March 20, 2026
No Comments
AMERICA: A Limited Series in Ten Seasons
Rated TV-MA for Violence, Hypocrisy, and a Staggering Inability to Learn
March 17, 2026
No Comments
March 13, 2026
No Comments
The Marketplace Defense
America’s Proudest Legal Achievement That Nobody Admits Is a Legal Achievement
March 12, 2026
No Comments
Darwin’s Rubber Snake and the Four-Billion-Person Experiment You’re Currently Inside
Charles Darwin spent his Tuesday afternoons scaring zoo animals with a fake snake.
March 10, 2026
No Comments
The Oracle Has Leftover Shrimp
A box of leftover seafood, a chance encounter, and the most compact piece of human wisdom ever delivered on a sidewalk.
March 6, 2026
No Comments
When God Closes a Door, He Needs to Go Get Some Paprika
A introspection about inspirational platitudes, divine incompetence, and the theological implications of not being able to find your spices.
March 5, 2026
No Comments