Grab a big ol’ pot. Chuck in your spuds with enough water to make them feel like they’re at the beach, maybe two inches over their tops (like they are drowning at the beach). Add a generous pinch of salt.

Boil those babies until they’re as soft as your grandma’s lap (Wait! What? how about for around15 to 25 minutes? That’s waaay less creepy.)

Once done, drain ’em.

While that’s all going on, grab the biggest skillet you own and melt some butter with a drizzle of oil.

Toss in the leeks and another pinch of salt then sauté over medium heat for about 5 minutes or until golden brown. Scoop out some onto a plate for a little garny at the end.

Add the sliced garlic cloves to the pan and let them mingle (no discussing politics!) with the leeks for about a minute.

Then invite the collards to this veggie party. Keep cooking until they’ve wilted into submission.

If things start looking Sahara-dry in there, add a splash of water.

Now comes potato re-entry: reintroduce those boiled spuds back into our veggie mix in the skillet and mash ’em till they’re either smooth or chunky depending on how you roll.

Add some milk and a generous amount of butter. Mmm. Butter,

Fling the extra fried leeks on top.

Top with a fried egg (please tell me you don’t need a recipe for fried eggs) and parsley sprinkles.

Eat it!