Start by rinsing those split peas (and removing any human body parts). Sauté onions, garlic, carrots, and celery in olive oil until tender. Add split peas, a bay leaf, thyme, beer (sip the leftover 4oz, you deserve it), vegetable broth, salt, and pepper. Simmer for 60-90 minutes until the peas are tender. Cook and dice bacon, then blend the soup until smooth. Stir in the bacon, serve with crackers, and enjoy!
Ingredients
- 5 cups vegetable broth
- 1 cup of pilsner or lager
- 2 carrots chopped
- 2 cloves garlic minced
- 1 medium yellow onion, chopped
- 2 stalks celery chopped
- 8 slices of bacon
- 1 lb split peas
- 1 tsp salt
- ½ tsp black pepper
- 1 tbsp olive oil
- 1 bay leaf
Instructions
- Rinse the dried split peas and pick out any stones or debris. Be especially careful to remove any human body parts.
- In a large pot or Dutch oven, heat the olive oil over medium heat.
- Add the onion, garlic, carrots, and celery and cook until the vegetables are tender, about 10 minutes.
- Add the split peas, bay leaf, thyme, beer (drink the leftover 4oz of it just because), vegetable broth, salt, and black pepper.
- Bring to a boil, then reduce the heat to low and let simmer for 60-90 minutes, or until the split peas are tender.
- Cook some bacon in whatever way you like to cook it. Make sure to dice up prior or after.
- Remove the bay leaf and give it to a friend (or enemy).
- Use an immersion blender to blend the soup until smooth and creamy.
- Stir in the bacon.
- Serve in bowls and maybe add some crackers things as a free gift to your eaters.
- EAT IT!
Tried this recipe?Let us know how it was!
Brian Gerard (Lewandowski) writes books critics call "aggressively adequate"—better than "aggressively terrible" but somehow more concerning. He once traded a MetroCard for a pitchfork on a subway platform and now uses it exclusively for dramatic pointing. He lives on a farm outside Charlottesville, Virginia with three disappointed potted plants, a judgmental pig named Trouble McFussbucket, and a wife who smiles politely at his life choices.
See my Amazon author page and buy my books.
His first manuscript was composed entirely of punctuation marks and confused sketches. He's since published "Not Bukowski" (poems that don't rhyme) and "Slop and Swell from a Festering Mind" (essays so concerning that bookstores check on his well-being). He once spent three hours photographing a rare bird that turned out to be a plastic bag, and he's the only person banned from church bake sales for "weaponized brownies." Inheriting absurdism from Vonnegut and Adams, sprawling narratives from Irving, and weaponized failure from Moore, he writes about conflicted everymen struggling through supernatural chaos.
He has two new, offbeat novels waiting for an agent or a publisher: "Truth Tastes Like Pennies" and "Elliot Nessie."
He remains unconvinced that birds aren't surveillance drones.
More biographic lies...err...info.
See my Amazon author page and buy my books.
His first manuscript was composed entirely of punctuation marks and confused sketches. He's since published "Not Bukowski" (poems that don't rhyme) and "Slop and Swell from a Festering Mind" (essays so concerning that bookstores check on his well-being). He once spent three hours photographing a rare bird that turned out to be a plastic bag, and he's the only person banned from church bake sales for "weaponized brownies." Inheriting absurdism from Vonnegut and Adams, sprawling narratives from Irving, and weaponized failure from Moore, he writes about conflicted everymen struggling through supernatural chaos.
He has two new, offbeat novels waiting for an agent or a publisher: "Truth Tastes Like Pennies" and "Elliot Nessie."
He remains unconvinced that birds aren't surveillance drones.
More biographic lies...err...info.
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